my dad

as the 6 month mark of my dad being gone & father's day approaching i think about my dad quite a lot these days.  well, pretty much every day. 
i've lost friends before.  i've lost grandparents.  but no one who i looked up to as much as my dad.  no one who was such a constant in my life. 
my mom always tells my sister & me that we'll probably be fine on father's day, but it's the other days when we need to know what to tell the air conditioning guy, or the insurance guy or when i get a whiff of that BBQ smell when it is the hardest. 

james arness from gunsmoke passed away today.  my dad loved gunsmoke.  i'm sure my dad was in his welcoming party up in heaven.  it's things like that that make me smile when i think about my dad. 

there is one thing i have realized from all of this.  when bad things happen to others....when friends of mine lose someone they love....i am going to try my hardest never to say "let me know if i can do anything."  it will be hard, b/c it's just ingrained in us down here.  my friends taught me a lot about how to love your friends when you see them struggling.  like the one who didn't give me an option but came & stocked my fridge with breakfast food the day after my dad died.  we hadn't been to the grocery store...we had a month old....and we had people staying with us for the funeral...she even carried up a huge thing of water to put in our fridge.  i didn't tell her we needed that.  she knew.  she also helped me type up all the handouts for the funeral...and caught my typos because i couldn't think straight.  the food helped feed my  numerous friends who drove 4-7 hours to be there for me & love on me.  then there was the friend who drove from nashville and back in the same day to be there.  or the one who had a c-section on wednesday & came to the visitation on friday night...ridiculous. 
and then there are the ones who couldn't be there who loved me from afar with calls, flowers, cards...
even flowers & cards from people i've only known for a couple of months or haven't heard from in years. 

i didn't use names because so many people did so many things, but i wanted to be specific because when i think back on that time i think about how well they loved me.  i want to always remember that and give examples of things that meant the world to my family & me.  i had a month old.  had just lost my dad.  i had absolutely no clue "what i needed" in order to ask someone to help. 

love is an action verb.  i understand that so much more now. 

love y'all.  thank y'all for loving me. 
xoxo
em

the past 6 months...

here is a recap of our past 6 months with our sweet boy...

at his 6 month check up he was:
weight: 19lbs. 
length: 26.5in.

his first word: hey...he says it to everyone
his favorite food: bananas
his favorite toy:  still his lion over his changing table & the "friends" above his crib...his mobile
when he started sleeping through the night: 1 month old and since then sleeps 10-14 a night
states he's visited: tennessee, louisiana & alabama
things he loves:  laughing at his daddy, food, laughing when being tickled, sucking on both fists...at the same time, listening to music, putting his toes in his mouth, kick-kick time, chika on sprout, bedtime, being outside, looking at trees when we go anywhere & being spoiled by his grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins

here are some more recent pictures

this is what happens when your half birthday falls on cinco de mayo!

look at those eyes

already in with the celebrities

we were at my brother's car race & put headphones on to cancel out the sound of the cars...he wasn't sure what was going on

listening to his uncle michael's band

st. patrick's day parade with daddy

november 5, 2010

the date that changed mine & heath's world forever! 

i will back up to november 4th...

i went to a surprise baby shower for one of my best friends, helen marshall.  while i was at the shower i started having contractions.  i didn't really think anything of it because i had already had some on and off.

those contractions started around 6pm. 

i came home and heath & i watched a movie...i kept feeling the contractions. 

we tried to go to bed, & i only slept about 45 min. 

i decided i should probably start timing these bad boys.  i had a handy app on my phone that would time contractions.  they were now 5 min. apart, lasting about a minute each and that was for about an hour.  the 5:1:1 combo!  i woke heath up around 2 and we timed them again to make sure.  i had been to the doctor the day before and she didn't see anything progressing, so we wanted to make sure. 

at 3 heath called the hospital & they told us to come on down!

i fully expected for them to send me home.  women in my family take FOREVER to go into labor.  well, i was 1 cm!  i know women go weeks at 1 cm, but for me that was huge!  an hour i had progressed to 3 cm. 

it seemed to be going pretty quickly.  woohoo!  well, it didn't go so quickly for the rest of it...but that's ok.  looking back it all seems like a blur. 

my sister & heath were in the delivery room with me.  at last...24 hours later...our sweet little boy was born! 

the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, but the doctor was so quick & it didn't cause any problems.  he was a little blue, but he bounced right back.  they said that it hadn't been that way for long, so we are blessed!   below are pictures from the day. 

heath's mom, cousin & my nieces waiting in the waiting room

heath's dad & aunt geraldine

my brother-in-law, michael & niece molly & nephew alex

the babies entertaining everyone in the waiting room with their dance moves

he's here!  7lb. 9oz. of sweetness!

could i love these two men any more??

i love him so much!!

my how things change

so my last post was exactly 4 months ago & wow have things changed. 

you know how sometimes you get behind in posting & you don't even know where to start....

that would be the understatement of the year here! 

about 10 days after my last post we were waiting to hear some news about my dad.  my husband had driven him down to new orleans because they thought he had a bleeding stomach ulcer.  2 years ago my brother gave him a kidney & they were worried that the bleeding would affect the kidney.  they wanted him to go to new orleans, where his transplant surgery occurred. 

we were not ready for the news the surgeon had.  they determined that it was actually a tumor that was bleeding & not an ulcer.  he was diagnosed with gastric cancer & they needed to do surgery immediately to remove the tumor & the majority of his stomach. 

when the surgeon opened him up they discovered that it was inoperable & had already spread to his liver & lymph nodes.  they sent him home with a grim prognosis.

chemo would not help him & would decrease his quality of life.  he wanted to be at home & wanted to be able to hold m.g. 

there are good things that happened in these 4 months! 

our little angel buddy was born!!! 

don't worry...i will devote many, many posts specifically to him! 

he was born on november 5th. 

the doctors told us at the end of november that my dad would probably only last a few more days. 

he was lucid until the very last day. 

he actually held m.g. on his chest and patted his back with one finger an hour before he passed away. 

my dad passed away on december 8th. 

i'm not sure if y'all are aware of this...but i am a daddy's girl through and through. 

always have been.  always will be. 

there isn't a man quite like mtg.  he never wore suits.  he watched cowboy movies daily.  he loved his grandchildren & his children.  he would do anything for those he loved.  he was the smartest man i have ever known.  he was the one who first told me about Jesus.  he had the dryest, but funniest sense of humor.  he was the best story-teller.  he always promised we would have our millionth birthday party in heaven.  he loved good food, so it always made me feel so good when he would ask me to come over to cook for him.  he was buried in his blue jeans...of course.  he LOVED m.g. the first time he saw m.g.'s sonogram he said he looked like an angel.  he constantly said he was an angel & referred to him as his buddy or his angel buddy.  he got blood transfusions to stay alive...& the day i had m.g. he had to have one.  he got it at the hospital i had m.g. so that they could wheel him up to see m.g. & get to hold him for the first time. 

i could go on and on & some days i probably will. 

God's timing is ALWAYS perfect!  it has been a whirlwind of a year of marriage. 

oh yeah....that reminds me. 

heath & i shared our 1st anniversary on dec. 19th. 

i love that man!  i will devote many posts to him as well.  he has been my rock & my best friend through all of this. 

i am thankful that God brought us back to live in jackson....so that i could be here with my dad these past few months.  i wouldn't change that for the wolrd.  i'm thankful that my dad was able to walk me down the aisle & i'm thankful that he was able to hold my first child.  i'm thankful that our first child was a boy & that we had decided long ago to name him after my dad.  i'm thankful for my family.  i'm thankful for my sweet friends who have been there for me through all of this.  i'm thankful that i was given the chance to tell my dad just how much he means to me & just how much i love him! 

things are slowly getting back to "normal"....not sure if they will ever be "normal" again...but you learn to live with the new "normal"

and i have a cute little guy who makes everything happy!!

baby mousey cheese

our youngest niece called us when we got pregnant. she is 4 and wanted to know if she was having a baby boy cousin or a baby girl cousin. i told her we didn't know yet, and asked her what we should call the baby. she thought for a little bit & decided on "baby mouse."
i have no clue where she got this name. she adores any kind of animal...and baby mice are up at the top apparently.
we told her that we found out it was a boy & the name evolved to "baby mousey cheese."

here is our little baby mousey cheese at 27 weeks

the nursery

i love sweet, gentile nurseries...adore them. but i also love colorful children's paintings....LOVE them. after writing color theory papers in college & majoring in art, psychology and human development i understand the importance of bright colors in early development. good thing that i have lots of colorful paintings! i didn't really have to buy much of anything for the nursery.

here is the view coming in the door. where the star pillow is will be a chenille chocolate brown glider.




























the tall walter anderson would only go in that spot. it weighs about 100 lbs. & we didn't want to risk it coming off the wall, so that is where it is going to stay!



























heath has to lower the mattress, so then i will be able to tie the ties on the bumper. it's just the simple brown and white bedding from pottery barn. since i knew that the paintings would be colorful i wanted to keep everything else simple. the brown chest is one i already had. the crib was a gift from heath's mom. she gave us some money for a crib & i found one we loved at a great price! we were able to get it and the changing table with the money she gave us.
we are trying to find some curtains for the window because the sun still comes through the blinds. i have some more paintings to put where the tv is on top of the chest.





















i'm painting a picture for the hospital door that will eventually hang over the changing table.



























still have some more work to do in this area. i have a small painting to go by the tv, so hopefully everything will seem balanced.


























this is the bookcase that is by the door. i'm going to need to hit up some garage sales to fill it! although i'm sure i'll have plenty of stuff to fill it with once our little guy shows up!



























my sweet mom got us our stroller and car seat, so we are ready for our sweet little guy to get here!!

xoxo

in your dreams...

apparently pregnancy gives you the strangest of dreams. i'm not sure if the dreams are different than what i normally have, or if it seems weird now because i can remember them.

these are just a few of the ones i have had:

- heath was the bachelor and gave me the final rose. while on our final date we had a stalker and the restaurant we were in had mice running all over. the stalker kept trying to get him, but he gave me the rose in the end. haha.

- one of my good friends, cassie corless, was kidnapped by dean cain (yes, superman) and i saved her.

- i started selling fruit that i would pick from the trees outside our apartment. helen marshall is one of my best friends. at her wedding about 7 years ago i met her uncle. i've probably run into him two other times in my life. well....he was my main customer. her mom was also a buyer of my fruit as well.

- heath and i went on vacation with one of my childhood best friends and his wife...henry & natalie glover. we went to miami. i've never been to miami in my life. we went to some big show, but had to go to this booth to pick them up. henry & natalie had already gone in. the woman giving us the tickets was jordan walker's mom. jordan grew up with henry & me, but i haven't seen him in ages. jordan's mom told us that jordan was planning on coming to the show with grenades & was going to use them. jordan is the sweetest guy on the planet...married to the sweetest girl & just had a little baby. not sure what that's all about.

- caroline hogan is one of my best friends. we gave a baby shower for her when she was pregnant with her first little girl. one of the presents she got was the largest stuffed elephant i've ever seen. like 4 feet tall. i don't remember much of the dream, but i do remember rocking the elephant to sleep in m.g.'s nursery.

- i caught heath kissing another girl in one of the dreams. his response when i caught him was that i was better & always would be. good to know. haha!


that's all i can remember for right now, but i know there are more of them.
i'm not sure if i want to know an interpretation for any of these!


that is all i can remember right now, but i know there are more of them. the weirdest thing is that it is people i know.